Your reward system
Posted by Daddy Peter | late morning | 25 February 09
Can’t recall the number of reward charts/tools we have tried to use to encourage good behaviour… The last one was for certain activity/behaviour, you get to move a marker across a ten segmented path. Once you reached the 10th mark, you get your reward. But your behaviour in the last few weeks has been disappointing, not willing to do homework, excessive crying and whining etc so there wasn’t much movement. Even though we constantly remind you about making progress to get your rewards, somehow, you choose not to “work” on them.
2 days ago, you suggested your own system. Well, maybe borrowed from you class and studentcare. They have a point system for a group, 10 points to start with. Mis-behaviour will mean points deduction. Good behaviour, add points. As a group, everyone need to work together to get the highest point at the end of the week. Your group did well and got the highest points so everyone got a pencil as a reward. You were so proud to show us your reward. Note, it was just a pencil but to you a big accomplishment. So, the system works, and on the way home in the car, you told us about the reward system. You wanted Daddy and you to be in the same team, Mummy and Jarrett the other. Hmmm… team, instead of individual efforts, it’s now a team effort. I now use that and encourage you as a team, you should help us get more points, which is making you more proactive. Next cames the rules. Off your head you listed
A. Crying and whining minus points.
B. Not holding hands when crossing the road minus points.
C. Doing homework plus points.
E. ...
As to what the value of the points is, we suggested some but promised we’ll finish it at home. After your shower, we sat down and listed the rules. One of the things you mentioned was fighting, how many points to deduct. I didn’t realized that was a real concern we needed to address later. Anyway, I told you fighting is a BIG NO! Deduction of points will be a BIG 10! We then moved on to the rest, 2 points for finishing meals on time, 1 point for brushing teeth, -2 point for running around in shopping malls etc. Initially, I thought of using a small notebook to help keep tabs on the score, since there will a lot of adding and subtracting. But Mummy highlighted a good point that I have my iPhone with me all the time, we may forget to bring out the notebook, so I went to look for an app to do just that, keeping track of the points and found one that fits the bill.
The next day, I showed you the app, and you did what it took to add points to the tab. when you left for school, we had 19 points! Yes 19 points. It is working out fine. Jarrett’s team has only accumulated 12. But the afternoon when I picked you and teacher told me that you were involved in a fight, we had to take the 10 points away. But you managed to gain back some points in the evening. I hope you will understand better about behaving well in school and at home using this new system. I may have to put a more harsh deduction of the fight thing if it occurs again, hopefully not. We are working on what rewards we should give you and Mummy suggested giving you a chance to pick out anything under a certain value at the end of every Friday when we total up the score. We’ll report more how this fare.
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Can’t recall the number of reward charts/tools we have tried to use to encourage good behaviour… The last one was for certain activity/behaviour, you get to move a marker across a ten segmented path. Once you reached the 10th mark, you get your reward. But your behaviour in the last few weeks has been disappointing, not willing to do homework, excessive crying and whining etc so there wasn’t much movement. Even though we constantly remind you about making progress to get your rewards, somehow, you choose not to “work” on them.
2 days ago, you suggested your own system. Well, maybe borrowed from you class and studentcare. They have a point system for a group, 10 points to start with. Mis-behaviour will mean points deduction. Good behaviour, add points. As a group, everyone need to work together to get the highest point at the end of the week. Your group did well and got the highest points so everyone got a pencil as a reward. You were so proud to show us your reward. Note, it was just a pencil but to you a big accomplishment. So, the system works, and on the way home in the car, you told us about the reward system. You wanted Daddy and you to be in the same team, Mummy and Jarrett the other. Hmmm… team, instead of individual efforts, it’s now a team effort. I now use that and encourage you as a team, you should help us get more points, which is making you more proactive. Next cames the rules. Off your head you listed
A. Crying and whining minus points.
B. Not holding hands when crossing the road minus points.
C. Doing homework plus points.
E. ...
As to what the value of the points is, we suggested some but promised we’ll finish it at home. After your shower, we sat down and listed the rules. One of the things you mentioned was fighting, how many points to deduct. I didn’t realized that was a real concern we needed to address later. Anyway, I told you fighting is a BIG NO! Deduction of points will be a BIG 10! We then moved on to the rest, 2 points for finishing meals on time, 1 point for brushing teeth, -2 point for running around in shopping malls etc. Initially, I thought of using a small notebook to help keep tabs on the score, since there will a lot of adding and subtracting. But Mummy highlighted a good point that I have my iPhone with me all the time, we may forget to bring out the notebook, so I went to look for an app to do just that, keeping track of the points and found one that fits the bill.
The next day, I showed you the app, and you did what it took to add points to the tab. when you left for school, we had 19 points! Yes 19 points. It is working out fine. Jarrett’s team has only accumulated 12. But the afternoon when I picked you and teacher told me that you were involved in a fight, we had to take the 10 points away. But you managed to gain back some points in the evening. I hope you will understand better about behaving well in school and at home using this new system. I may have to put a more harsh deduction of the fight thing if it occurs again, hopefully not. We are working on what rewards we should give you and Mummy suggested giving you a chance to pick out anything under a certain value at the end of every Friday when we total up the score. We’ll report more how this fare.
Next : Finally, your first milk teeth has dropped!
Being assertive, not aggressive : Previous